FOCUS: What is Really the “IT”?

In the past few months, I’ve been drawn to the challenge of focusing on something – anything – and how this impacts one’s desired result or the “IT” of the struggle.  The object of my focus may have been a task, goal, or some sort of challenge; all of this relates to performance and involved my doing something to achieve a something. My thought was that the “IT” is the goal or end of the struggle.

Many schools of thought teach us that the goal isn’t in the achievement but the process – or road – leading to the desired goal or state of mind.  After a recent failure, I wondered if one reaches their goal but did not learn anything, do we repeat this process again and again?  Are all goals supposed to be unfulfilled as we learn and change courses along the path which is the “goal” all along? What impact does the actual goal have on whether or not one can achieve IT?

Many of you may think that this wondering is a coping mechanism for having failed yet again.  Perhaps that is also true. However, I cannot help thinking that I’m supposed to be learning through failure and not the actual achievement.  By focusing on the end result, am I failing to actually learn and am doomed to repeat? While focusing on my goal, I decided that I also need to pay attention to the process more so than the actual achievement.  For example: In my entire life, I’ve struggled with excess weight.  I was born over 9 pounds and am a proud first-generation American.  My ethnic background is more European – German to be precise – as both my parents were born in the region, pre- World War II. (“OoooOOOoooo!!! Just how old is she??”)  In adapting to an American way of life, untold habits and customs were changed, modified out of necessity to adapt to our surroundings. We adapted to an American way of life and did not expect America to adapt to us.  (This mindset is enough for multiple blog posts.)  However, my background actually may be an indicator of my physicality and pre-disposition.  You see, in Germany, there is a very different way of life.  People in Europe walk more, meals are simpler and less-processed, and health care is focused on prevention and not treatment. I’ve long wondered if I adopted an “old school” approach based on my genetics, would this be the “key” to help me unlock my weight dilemma?  Unless I have some hormonal disruption or other physical ailment or disease, why can’t I do and behave in a way that I know will support my goal? I’ve focused on losing weight for a long time yet never achieved my goal; my progress would stall for untold reasons too numerous for this post.  Because of this repeated failure, however, I’ve wondered what went wrong, made course corrections, only to fail yet again.  This wondering consumes me on some days and on other days, I barely notice.  But, the IT is always with me, like an albatross around my neck.

Conversely, the journey has also brought me to study different philosophies of human thought and performance – or one’s “mentagility.”  Part of my studies were trying to understand my repeated failures and how this is impacting my self-esteem and performance in life.  The struggle has me studying nutrition, genetics, motivation, human behavior, positive psychology, performance, leadership, meditation….the list is every widening (pun intended).  Through this study and self-reflection, I’ve found a new way of viewing my goal as more of a desired state of being rather than the result of loss.  This viewpoint corresponds to the thinking behind the law of attraction.  Many who believe in the law of attraction would say my goal was backwards; goals should never be about losing something because then I’m focused on the item or thing I’m supposed to not have — and attract it.  So, coupled with the genetic mindset of a supposed predisposition to a certain way of life, I’ve started something different.  I am focusing on what my desired state of being is and am setting up habits to support this state.  The energy behind this endeavor is hugely positive for me and I’m barely able to contain it.  Could this be so simple? I just need to change my mind to say that my desired goal is a specific weight and naturally create positive habits that will actually help me achieve that state? The cycle of weight loss attempts and failures has to take a toll on one’s self-worth and ability to perform and I am no exception.  The “IT” of losing weight is an outward “failure” we wear on our sleeve (or thighs) because no one – NO ONE – wants to be unhealthy, uncomfortable, or unhappy regardless of the cause.  I believe a state of unhappiness is contradictory to being human. (Again, more blog post topics! Yay!)

This experiment will be virtually conducted by myself on another blog I’m calling caliche bypass.  Caliche is a soil found in various parts of the planet that is hard and cement-like.  Many people try to dig through the caliche and end up breaking their tools or struggling with their shovels.  I think I’ve been trying to dig through my own personal caliche so long that the IT has become my focus: the struggle.  (IT is part of my identity at this point.) Then the question hit me like lightning: Why dig through the caliche when you can just walk around the IT? Does the IT need to be such hard work?  And, there the IT is, my friends.  The purpose of my journey.  Growth and sharing. Stay tuned.