Is There REALLY a Problem?

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can worry about something – an event, action, or happening – that never materializes? How much time did you spend worrying about this, and what did this worry do to your life while you were worrying? Worry has an impact on our mood, perspective, and associated behaviors. I have recently hypothesized that worry is what you have when you are not mindful. I also wondered how many times we create our own problems to get whatever resolution we want for the situation or condition. Sort of like, is the tail wagging the dog? And, how does anxiety or fear factor into worry? This post digs into these thought to see what the science provides for us.

Worry is defined as to “give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.” Harvard University has a recent post that discusses this with the leading information: “When your day is derailed by fear and worry, you want to try to center your mind and become more anchored in the present moment. Mindfulness techniques can help you do just that. If this is your first attempt at practicing mindfulness, you might find it challenging at first. By practicing this skill for a few minutes each day, over time you’ll find it easier to calm your racing mind and make your worries take a back seat.” In discussing mindfulness, one needs to consider meditation as a part of that overall trait. How does this work? And, how can meditation actually help me to stop worrying? Does it work? Many recent activities or happenings have pointed me towards mindfulness through meditation. The final clue that slapped me upside the head was that I happened to be taking this course through Yale University for leadership skill development. It provided all the science on happiness and a big factor is mindfulness through meditation. (Thanks, Universe, I finally heard you!) Yes, a regular meditation practice does work. (Look it up.) I can attest that my own personal meditation practice has facilitated a major change in my life, allowing me to make important decisions when faced with the actual situation instead of just turning my head or creating a false sense of the situation to avoid it. The result has been an overwhelming shot of confidence and the ability to move mountains…or so I now think. <3

If faced with a big decision, many of us may close up and avoid the challenge (and result) of our choice. Yet, that choice really does not go away but can bubble up again in some other form. I believe that the creation of an ‘obstacle’ or ‘challenge’ is part of our life’s path and purpose. We are meant to learn from these events, to find the greater meaning, and understand our small role in this period of time. Many times, these “choices” are not based on real facts but are based on your perception. It is the reason behind this misperception that needs examination. By creating space between your feelings or emotions and the reason for your worry, you will see clues about your real feelings and perspective. However, if you are not aware of this mental gymnasium your mind has created for you, you may totally miss the actual issue for some internal reason. Meditation helps to create a gap between perception and reaction. This is where ‘question thinking‘ is extremely helpful, too. By questioning long-held assertions, you create larger “gaps” that allow you to become aware of your beliefs. It is the awareness that then gives you a choice: Accept or Change. Neither is the ‘right’ answer for that is your perception and free will. The gap, however, can be shocking because this change in perception is also a change. We may become anxious with the unfamiliar which then creates a new thought loop. Anyone who meditates understands that the mind is so very powerful and has its own agenda. 😉 The gap can be scary because change is hard work and you may be realizing decades of misperception.

My earlier defintion of “worry” discusses how let our mind dwell on difficulties or to ‘give way’ to anxiety. What if ‘anxiety’ is actually an organic happening? Can one ‘give way’ to something that is inherently created by the body? The defintion I used seems to suggest that ‘anxiety’ is a choice. Each person is different yet we normalize these feelings, don’t we? You may wake up each day with anxiety and, like me, not even realize what these feelings are because we’ve always had them. Many people may have situations that are truly anxiety-inducing; this is different. However, what if your anxiety is the result of something else? Did you know that there a certain foods that induce anxiety? Probably not because, you see, anxiety seems to be a silent suffering because people may be mistaking the feeling for something else. Yes, folks, your diet may be messing with your emotions. I have recently prescribed to the idea that anxiety can be created by an incompatible diet because I have proven this to myself through my own trial and error. (Don’t get me started about soybean oil!) And, in case you are concerned, this is an article from the Mayo Clinic which suggests that a proper diet can actually reduce anxiety. The bottom two bullets state the following:

• Pay attention to food sensitivities. In some people, certain foods or food additives [emphasis added] can cause unpleasant physical reactions. In certain people, these physical reactions may lead to shifts in mood, including irritability or anxiety.
• Try to eat healthy, balanced meals. Healthy eating is important for overall physical and mental health. Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, and don’t overeat. It may also help to eat fish high in omega-3 fatty acids, such as salmon, on a regular basis.

Considering the above information, how would you realize that you are sensitive to food additives as the source of your anxiety if it is something that just always was there? You become mindful and pay attention to your food. (There’s that mindfulness thing again.)

The first thing that I did was accept that my anxiety could actually be impacted by my dietary choices and I stopped my blame/shame loop over it. (I am emphasizing these terms because this was extremely important for me.) I removed all processed foods with the idea that I needed to introduce these foods back in to ‘test’ them against my feelings. I’m still in this process and the results have been personally astounding. Here is how this all started:

During the Pandemic (or the period I’m sarcastically calling “The Intense Contemplation of My Own Mortality”), I realized that I had a standard ‘baseline’ of anxiety in that I always felt a bit anxious. The situation did and does not matter for the anxiety impacted me when I brushed my teeth all the way through to bedtime. As a child, I would hide when we had company. Leaving for school, I would begin to worry about my day, from the basic things of what to wear to how to behave. Would I be good enough to be liked? (OMG!) Too much for myself to handle, my dress became very generic and blendable to fit in and not be noticed. (Today, an eating disorder may be at the heart of that.) As an adult, I’ve used this anxiety in unintentional ways that had real impact.

These mental gymnastics created an anxiety loop for me – or more like a roller coaster for anxiety (fear) is at my core. To find out now that these irrational fears could have been impacted by food sensitivities makes me both happy and sad: Happy in that I found an answer, Sad that it took this long. Did all things negative sprout from the fertile soil of my ‘anxiety loop’? Did my infernal and incessant questioning of my own self-worth stem from an organic source? No matter because the result is the same, isn’t it? I can now see how this situation formed because I created a mental gap in my perception of myself – and began questioning my perception. (It’s that dratted meditation once again.) 😀 At a young age, I thought to use these mental loops as “tools” for self-improvement, or that the negative self-talk was a good thing. This view unintentionally created a reliance of the “good opinion” of others as the basis for my own sense of value. At the same time, I have been very successful in my profession. The dichotomy of belief created a cognitive dissonance in me that I am finally recognizing because I removed the ‘fuel’ of my anxiety.

While normalized, my strategy of using negative mental beratement as the incentive to do more did damage to me. Self-acceptance has been the struggle; a daily battle. This space for self-acceptance was created through my meditation practice and attempt to be more mindful to reduce my worry and anxiety. It is this same space where I’m creating a sense of tolerance and working on reducing my expectations of others. Or, tolerance of myself is creating my tolerance for others.

Why is this important? Because as leaders, we need to be aware of our own behavior patterns so that they may be understood when tackling the important questions of the day in our work and home lives. Being anxious could impact our ability to see the situation through a clear lens. We may have what we perceive as a problem and our unchecked anxiety could exacerbate this view. And, if that perspective is fueled by improper perceptions caused by the anxiety, and further supported by poor dietary habits, how can one be assured that their decision-making is actually appropriate? For this, we need to create a gap between perception and reaction. Having a gap allows us to question our judgment and determine any external factors impacting the situation. Meditation is a tool that helps create that gap.

Peace.