Labeling: Another Type of Box

While sitting at my desk a few weeks ago and paging through my social media feeds, I found my Facebook feed just stifling.  You see, I made the mistake of looking at other people’s comments on a popular news story.  These comments made me wonder just what story they were reading because, obviously, they had not read the story in which their comment was made.  If they had read the story, I surmised, they could never have made such an inane, stupid, ignorant, whiny (pick one or two adjectives) note.  I quickly closed the comments and moved on because I found myself doing what they did: trying to make a comment on someone else’s perception.  The inspiration of how we humans label: a.) things, b.) places, c.) events, or d.) all of the above got me to thinking of why we feel the need to comment on information where we may not have the full picture or gravity of the event.

In a May 2010 article called “Why It’s Dangerous to Label People”, author Adam Alter stated that “…categorical labeling is a tool that humans use to resolve the impossible complexity of the environments we grapple to perceive.”  In other words, we interpret what we surmise using our senses (see, hear, smell, taste, touch) and filtered through our own experiences.  Our different human experiences cause each of us to perceive a random situation much different because, as the human “filter” of the data, we remove aspects of our perception that do not fit our understanding and end up with a watered-down views that is skewed.  As one might imagine, this fact has untold impact on our society and interactions because one person’s filtering of an extraneous detail may be another person’s focus.  Alter concludes with the thought that “…labeling isn’t always a cause for concern, and it’s often very useful…”  I agree because, as humans, there is a lot of data we must filter through during the day.  Labeling allows us to do this very quickly and, in come societies, may be the difference between life and death.  What is dangerous, however, is when we use our own personal perceptions as the label rather than view each situation for what is presented.

Perceptions are a key issue in effective leadership, too.  Something as simple as one’s gender may influence perception.  In a leadership exercise in perception, I was one of 20 individuals who were given a story of an individual who managed an office, identified a serious issue, and managed their team to a successful conclusion.  The story showed the leader’s interaction with their staff.  Unbeknownst to the participants, ten individuals were given a story where the person’s name was female; ten participants received the story with a male name.  The story was exactly the same except for the gender of the subject; however, the different perceptions were alarming.  Those with the male subject believed that the protagonist “took charge” and demonstrated clear leadership ability.  The group with the female leader, however, believed that she overstepped her bounds and was too…something: demanding, over-bearing, forthright, and…well…bitchy.  (They said it, not me.) Those of us in the class were appalled…yes, apalled at their unknown bias when viewing the story – myself included.

Since that day, I have been very interested in perception and reviewing my own ongoing narrative in my head when I’m faced with a stupid comment or some other difference of opinion.  (Ugh! I’ve already automatically labeled any disagreement as a stupid comment.  While this was unconscious writing on my part, can you see how this automatically labeling may cause you to react in an unproductive way?  Labeling is just so ingrained in who we are as a society, isn’t it?) Rather than criticize that individual for their perception and resulting opinion, why not ask them how they formed that opinion? If we can then stop, actively listen without judgement, and engage them in a conversation, maybe we can learn more about them and their own perception? This type of discussion provides us not just with information but also sensitizes us to our differences and creates opportunities to build bridges, not gaps.

Be kind and have a great month…and listen to understand, not respond. Please build a bridge.