Pandemic Lesson #6 – Extremes Create New Discipline “Opportunities”

This post could also be titled “What I’ve learned about mental discipline.”  That title, however, doesn’t really give one context, does it?  My idea of “mentagility” is just that: Agility of the Mind and Critical Thinking.  Without context, however, one loses the real flavor of a lesson, the stewing of ourselves as we “cook” the situation to a resolution.  Development (and resilience) is in the slow simmer of learning that where we really achieve our better results.  Like a fine wine or an aged piece of meat, caring for the item (or thought) while ruminating or “stewing” creates a richness in the broth or the flavor of a full-bodied Cabernet.  I believe that the same is true for humans as we create our own lives.

During the Pandemic, we were all instructed to quarantine pretty much around the world.  This required that everyone remain in their homes and only going out for necessary items or tasks.  Grocery shopping or a doctor’s visit became the “outing of the week” in my house.  Speaking of grocery shopping, my husband and I developed a routine of shopping for three weeks at a time.  We’d have two carts and split our list to see who would get done faster.  Or, we’d have one cart and leave it stationary, each of us going to a grocery aisle for our purchases only to meet again at the cart and fill it up with our many hand-held items.  In many ways, we treated this as a video game in our minds just to eliminate some of the mental mulling (or “stewing”) that happens when thinking about the situation.  In fact, we were so busy shopping so we could get back to the relative safety of our home, we forgot why we needed the gloves, masks, wipes, and distance restrictions.  Many times, my husband tugged at my arm to remind me to keep my distance as my more natural inclination would be to stop and chat with a shopper as we search the same shelf for our desired purchases. We were just talking about this the other day and how much we had both learned from the experience for we found that we actually like shopping in fewer trips, and plan to change our habits on how we plan our meals to have fewer shopping trips.   The extreme (quarantine) created a new discipline (mindful grocery shopping) which, then, created a new idea: less shopping and more meal planning.  Interesting.

A book I will need to read is Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual by former Navy SEAL and podcaster Jocko Willink.  Willink also has a popular YouTube channel which is how I came to know of him.  In the interview back in 2017, the article’s author, Dan Schawbel, a former contributor in leadership for Forbes.com, asked “What is the connection between discipline and freedom?…” Willink responded that “…[w]hile Discipline and Freedom seem like they sit on opposite sides of the spectrum, they are actually very connected. Freedom is what everyone wants — to be able to act and live with freedom. But the only way to get to a place of freedom is through discipline. If you want financial freedom, you have to have financial discipline. If you want more free time, you have to follow a more disciplined time management system. You also have to have the discipline to say “No” to things that eat up your time with no payback—things like random YouTube videos, click-bait on the internet, and even events that you agree to attend when you know you won’t want to be there. Discipline equals freedom applies to every aspect of life: if you want more freedom, get more discipline.”  Interesting insight, right?

I found the answer to this question truly inspirational and has begun a new insight for me in how I “attack” each day.  Schawbel asked: “Can you share an example of how you transformed your life after creating a discipline and sticking to it?”  Willink responded with the following answer – and you tell me how you cannot be inspired.

“…Basically everything positive in my life has come from discipline. I didn’t make it through SEAL Training based on my natural athletic abilities; no, I had the discipline to train hard in preparation and then work hard during the training. My career in the SEAL Teams was not based on some intrinsic gift, but rather on the willingness to do what needed to be done, and to do that day after day. I did well in college not because of some supreme intellect, but because I had the discipline to study hard. When I was inspired to write books, that inspiration didn’t sit down and start typing for hundreds of hours; no, it was the discipline that actually put the words on paper.

And that is the real message: If you want to transform your life in a positive way, that transformation will not happen by itself. You need to make it happen. You need to do the work. You need to put in the hours, the days, the weeks, the months, and the years. You need to get on the path and stay on the path—the path that leads to the positive transformations, the path that leads to a better you, the path that leads to freedom.

And that path is the hard path. The tough path. The relentless path. It is the path of Discipline. And the path of Discipline is the only way. Discipline Equals Freedom.”

In my shopping story, we had the discipline to stay at home during lockdown so that, when we went shopping, it is an entirely necessary trip.  We had a plan of attack to minimize our exposure to the Coronavirus, with the result always being achieved: grocery shopping for weeks at a time.  Now, albeit a simple example, you can see how discipline can be used in our thinking and our behaviors.  I’ve been working on achieving mental discipline in my own sense of self, to change bad habits which require being present in my habit, acknowledging that the habit no longer benefits me (if it ever did), and being open to the freedom of something unknown and different.  This realization and effort, too, was caused by the discipline of staying home.  The cessation of life on a treadmill forced a stop; the discipline of being home and being unable to do my “normal” routine required me to find a new sense of “normal” within the discipline of being home-bound.  No force necessary because the discipline created an environment ripe for change.

Here is another example of this: my planning obsession.  I love a good plan, executed, and any bumps smoothed out along the way because, of course, we planned for them.  This plan/execution gives me such a sense of achievement that I’m really not sure if my sense of fulfillment is getting the execution of the plan correct or if this feeling is from the resulting accomplishment.  (In writing this down, I came to this realization just now.) In my planning obsession, I’ve struggled with personal productivity – for YEARS!  During the Pandemic when one could make no plans, I was forced to find another outlet.  My realization that my planning was and is an outlet required that I change my perspective on the situation and my place within my life.  Was I living my life? Or, was life living me?

The Pandemic (discipline) made me realize that if one has no time or opportunity to execute the plan, one cannot do everything one sets out to do — even with the best plan.  I also realized that my planning obsession kept me so deeply, deeply rooted in the future that I lost my sense of the present (freedom).  (Personally, I wonder if my need to be in my future self wasn’t just an obvious way of outrunning my past, but I digress.)  I continued to try and keep every part of my life productive in some weird sense of fulfilling my own self (and ego, let’s be honest).  However, with the severe restrictions requiring discipline of staying home and the future of life on this planet being so uncertain, I recognized that the future is not guaranteed and my planning obsession needed to be “present” focused and more task-oriented so that I use my planner for appointments and scheduling, but not in lieu of being present.

In being more present, I have found a sense of peace and tranquility that had been lacking, and was the salve needed to heal my soul.  (I don’t say this lightly.) I began to be more creative and realized how much I missed being artistic.  My art is eclectic: poetry, writing, drawing, painting, jewelry making….the latter being an entirely new hobby that I really, really enjoy.  My first creation is this “shark teeth” necklace which I plan to wear with a collared shirt.  (See, I’m still struggling with my future plans.  This is where the work comes in.)  The discipline of the quarantine required that I re-examine what life was about and, through that discipline, I found a renewed sense of self that I could not imagine – and the freedom to enjoy it all.

Perhaps you also have had similar experiences?  When you think of them, be easy with yourself just as you would with someone else who is struggling through changes caused by discipline and a new way of life.  It is adapting to these changes and coming up with new freedoms that, I believe, is what living is about. Peace.