The Way of Things: How We Create Gems

There are times when you exalt your achievements and are so proud of the accomplishments that you wish to celebrate with those around you; to share your good fortune with those you love and respect.  Well, this is one of those times but not for an “outward” accomplishment but for an “inward” accomplishment of increased self-actualization.  These are difficult to laud because they are so personal and may be seen as ego-serving.  Yet, even then, the journey is worth the discussion.

I’ve been dabbling in blogging for a while.  My adventure of introspection into the exploration of one’s “mentagility” is a calling of something deep.  There is a need I feel to express a viewpoint in my desire to help others, and to also connect with link-minded individuals who see the world as full of potential.  Many times, we don’t even realize that we feel a need, or an agitation or anxiety, and just bump along feeling any manner of emotions: overwhelm, anger, insecurity…you name it…as a result of said agitation.  I use this term deliberately because it really is a “…moving back and forth or with an irregular, rapid, or violent action…” but of one’s own mind as an internal agitation.  Gauging this is one of the benefits of mindfulness; the feeling – depending on how strong it is – may flare in different ways and cause reactions that may seem out of character but are rooted in the agitation.  This agitation should end with a result which is, hopefully, positive.  I guess that, if one acknowledges the agitation in some self-reflective and mindful way, the result is positive.  If one, however, rails against the agitation, the result may be viewed negatively; the perception is left to the individual.  I recall a discussion of how rocks are polished where each piece of raw stone is churned and tumbled to produce a shine…or, through an agitation of sort, a beautiful gem is the expected result.  I’d like to believe we all end with a collection of beautiful gems that litter our life’s path that documents the journey.

I was reminded of this just this week.  During the holidays, we enjoyed the company of my sister- and brother-in-law along with my nephew who is enjoying his college years.  We see them so rarely that I’m always excited and try to make our visit one of memory.  In catching up with them around the dinner table, we began discussing the state of discourse and our societal views.  My nephew, A, indicated he was reading some very thought-provoking material that I wish I had read at his age.  (I’m so encouraged by his potential and I’m excited to see what A will do with this information.)  I also discussed this blog and showed some of my more recent posts.  As I’m used to doing, I provided the site information and never really believed that anyone would have an interest in my musings.  Up until then, no one had ever read my blog except for me and those I forced to read by holding up my phone in front of them! Imagine my surprise when my sister-in-law, T, asked about my subscription feature and if she had misunderstood our conversation.

I was blown away, astounded that anyone would take the time to look at my work. I’m extremely humbled at the tought that T, who is accomplished in her own right, took her time to read what I wrote.  Her interest touched me and brought up a host of emotions that I did not realize played a part in my own personal agitation.   Mentagility is a labor of love for me.  At this time, I do this writing without advertising and pay for everything with my own funds; I have a full-time job and this is my passion project.  My goal is that something I may have written would be a positive influence for someone else and sharing my own life experience to provide someone else a shortcut.  If you look at life, generation on generation, you see that each builds from the prior whether the learning is good or bad.  I’m learning this blogging thing as I go and have a need to develop additional skills.  My discussion with T was about where I wanted my blog to go…or how I wanted it to be.  It was my “someday/maybe” list/goal: create a subscription feature.  I believed no one would be interested and put it off.  However, upon further introspection, I recognized that this procrastination stemmed from my mistaken belief that my voice didn’t have any meaning and that no one cared.

T’s interest stopped me dead in my tracks because no one had ever taken the time or cared enough to read my work.  I began the “tumbling” of my own agitating emotions, to continue the polishing cycle, and figure out just how to work with subscribers and increase my knowledge of all things ‘blog’.  I’ve also been extremely agitated to get this right so that my single would-be subscriber can also grow through discussion and contemplation.  The agitation, too, resulted in the realization of just how far I sold myself short and, on some inner level, believed that I was alone in my musings.  This was truly humbling and a lesson in self-compassion.  By believing that I was alone on my contemplative journey – or a single rock in my own personal tumbler – my own personal sense of polish would take a long time to achieve.  I also recognized that I was OK with this thought which realized from a deep-seated sense of insecurity.

Polishing is quicker and more effective when one can bounce themselves against others by sharing and discussion; polite disagreement is the cornerstone of learning when both parties desire a favorable end result.  The polish comes from the knocking around, the tossing and agitation that takes many forms, and results in the brilliant shine of completion.  It is my goal that, by adding a subscriber functionality, I’m increasing our own sense of agitation to further polish each other into the gems we can all be.  It, like me, will always be a work in progress to create the gems we are all meant to be. Blessings on a very happy 2019.